Tales From the Shadow Realm
by Victoria Hughes
Summary: Unrelated fic snippets about the YuGiOh cast.  Fic 5: Yami, Meet Yami.  Fanfiction!Yami meets Canon!Yami.  Sort of.  Metafic, rated K.
1. Eyeliner

**I. Eyeliner**

"I'm going to go meet Anzu …"

Yami's eyes widened slightly, an encouraging smile flying across his lips. "Ou! Good luck!" He cheered, giving Yuugi a thumbs-up.

Yuugi smiled back sheepishly. "Well, it's not exactly me …"

And with that, he stepped back in their shared body, giving his other self a mental shove forward.

"Wh-what!?" Yami suddenly found himself staring in the mirror at Yuugi's body, decked out in bracelets and wrist cuffs and an artfully torn shirt. "Aibou!"

There was no answer. Irritably, Yami looked inward to Yuugi's soul room—

And the door shut in his face.

"Aibou?" Yami asked, mentally banging his fist against the door. "What do you mean!?"

_Go meet up with Anzu! _Came the response. _Don't tell me I went through all this trouble for nothing!_

"… are you trying to set us up?" Yami snorted.

_N-no, nothing like that, _Yuugi responded. _Why would I do that!?_

Well, that much was true, Yami mused. His aibou was the one with the crush, after all. Yami lifted his eyes to examine his reflection again. _Is this what he thinks is my style …?_ He wondered, amused and slightly insulted all at once. Ah, well; Yuugi meant well, and if Yami was perfectly honest, he kind of liked the effect.

But as long as Yuugi wasn't talking or listening, he was going to have a bit of fun. And he knew just where to get it …

&

It was a few hours later when Yami knocked again at Yuugi's proverbial door. _I'm back, aibou._

_Welcome back, _Yuugi responded, smiling and opening the door. _Did you have a good time?_

_It was nice. Thank you for thinking of me, _Yami responded warmly. _I'm going to rest. Your mother says dinner will be ready in half an hour, by the way._

Yuugi nodded absently, taking control of his body back from his other self. He was a little amused to find himself standing in front of the mirror again, still bedecked in bracelets and belts and …

And …

Yuugi leaned closer to the mirror, although what he saw was unmistakable even from a distance. _Wait … is that …?_

Around both eyes was dark smudging, stretching in neat lines towards his temples. Yuugi scrubbed at the edge of one eye and the lines blurred against his skin, leaving a dark stain on his fingers. _Is that _eyeliner!?

There was an unmistakable sensation of snickering from the Puzzle.

_Other me! _Yuugi wailed. _Did you go out like this!?_

_Saa .._ the Spirit of the Puzzle was noncommittal, a mental shrug communicating itself.

_Gah! You didn't!_

_I think it looks good! Don't you?_

… _I-I think I should tell you, in the past three thousand years it's become customary for only girls to wear eye makeup, _Yuugi shot back, disgruntled and mortified, but his other self was almost visibly amused. _You didn't go out like this, did you? Did you!?_

There was a moment of agonizing consideration, and then a sharp bark of laughter. Yuugi looked up at the spirit projection of Yami. "No, aibou, I didn't," the spirit confessed, still grinning. "I applied it a few minutes ago."

Yuugi breathed a sigh of relief, pressing his hand to his chest. "Thank goodness … did you steal it from Mom?"

"Borrowed it," Yami corrected, one finger raised, the distinction clearly important to him. "Anyway, I hope this teaches you a lesson."

Yuugi was starting to scrub the eyeliner off with his fingers. "Crud, I need some water … what lesson is that, other me?"

Yami laughed, the sound as light as Yami ever got. "Next time, let me pick out the clothes for _my_ date!"


	2. A Little Furikuri

**A Little **_**Furikuri**_

**A/N: **_'furikuri' is Japanese slang referencing sexual acts (snogging, dry-humping, etc.) 'Ecchi' is how the letter 'H' is pronounced in Japanese, which is the first letter in 'hentai' (perverted). Manga-based. Please proceed with caution._

&

"Ah yes … _yes! _Ah …"

Yuugi Mutou, age 17, colored slightly and reached forward to turn down the volume on his television set. Jonouchi had been absolutely right; this uncensored _ecchi _tape was a heck of a lot better than the censored ones. The only downside was that the recording was also louder, which meant that Yuugi had to keep the volume turned way down to watch his porn in peace. It wouldn't be that embarrassing, he supposed, since his parents weren't home and his grandfather was asleep, but if Sugoroku did wake up, he'd want to know what was going on. And then he'd probably want to _borrow_ the tape, which actually was just worse than being reprimanded for it. Yuugi didn't want to think about what his grandfather watched behind closed doors; some things were just best left to a man's own confidence.

That, however, was exactly the problem with having two souls in one body.

Yuugi had a healthy sex drive. He found Anzu hot and occasionally let off steam in his morning shower thinking about her. He liked porn as much as the next guy, occasionally had lewd discussions with his best friend Jonouchi, and was seriously considering going to a strip club for his coming-of-age birthday party. That being said, he was generally discreet. After all, his crush on Anzu remained exactly that – a mere crush, unrequited – and until he'd figured out how to fix that stalemate, all his fantasies would remain fantasies.

Yuugi wasn't built or powerful. He looked guileless, and where he wasn't strong physically he was very strong mentally, infinitely forgiving, gentle, and good at logic games. Even knowing how old Yuugi was, Yuugi halfway thought that Anzu believed that he was utterly naïve about sex and anything related to it. On the other hand, Yuugi's other self practically _oozed_ charisma. He was direct and challenging, carrying himself with the bearing of a ruler – as well he should have, being the former Pharaoh of Egypt. Yami no Yuugi was, in some lights, a very sexual being: clothes seemed tighter on him, he expressed interest in the modern version of kohl (eyeliner, Yuugi had to remind him), and he favored gold jewelry and bangles. But if there was anyone who was naïve to the pleasures of video porn and anything sexually oriented, it was Yami no Yuugi. Yuugi's other self had room in his head for, it seemed, exactly two things: his aibou, and games.

Which was why Yuugi jumped badly when his other self suddenly made an 'appearance', his spirit form lounging on the bed. _Ou? What's this?_

Yuugi felt mortified for no reason at all. Didn't they share a body? Yuugi's other self never indicated any particular awareness of anything Yuugi may or may not have been noticing with his south-of-the-border brain, but he was conveniently and conspicuously out of the calling range when Yuugi was taking his showers, and he had never made any effort to establish contact during a porno before. Maybe this was why Yuugi felt embarrassed; not only was this a time that probably should have been private, but the Pharaoh seemed somehow above softcore porn. He blanched a bit. _It's, uh … it's porn, _he admitted.

… '_Porn'? _Yami no Yuugi gave the screen a confused look. To Yuugi's gratification, the spirit actually began to blush. _Are they … in front of a 'recording' device …?_ It was clear what the Spirit of the Puzzle meant, and Yuugi sent affirmation over their mental link.

_They're actors, if that helps, _Yuugi supplied, his eyes traveling the curve of the woman's breast, which was _not_ pixilated out. Definitely better this way.

There was a sense of scandalous attention from the spirit, followed by a short silence. For a moment Yuugi thought that his other self had had enough and had returned to the Puzzle, but a quick glance confirmed that he was still very much around, his eyes glued to the television.

So it went for a minute or two, when suddenly Yami's other self spoke. _I don't understand why you are watching this, Aibou. Why not go out and actually—_

_My other self!_ Yuugi protested before Yami no Yuugi could complete that sentence. He whirled to look at the nonplussed spirit. _I can't go out and just _do it_ with someone! It's one thing to think about it, it's another thing to actually do it!_

The spirit's eyes were wide with confusion, and he was apparently a bit cowed, leaning further back on the bed. _Of course it is_, he agreed in a placating fashion. _That is why I suggested it! Sexual intimacy is beautiful, as I recall it._

It was Yuugi's turn to be surprised. _… How would you know?_ He had to ask.

The spirit of the Puzzle colored slightly. _I was a Pharaoh in an age long before this. In my time, one came of age after thirteen years. As Pharaoh I had any number of women at my disposal, as I pleased. Did you think I was a virgin, aibou?_

Yuugi had to admit he hadn't really thought about it. _Y-you just never seem to even think about these things … _he explained feebly.

The spirit seemed slightly amused. _It would be safe to say that I lack the parts to care. Those small demons that you call 'hormones', I think? Without a body, why would I think ab—what on earth is that!?_

Yuugi was about to pause the _ecchi_ (the viewing wasn't turning out the results he wanted with Yami no Yuugi there, anyway) and attempt to explain what 'hormones' were to his other self when the spirit interrupted himself and pointed at the TV. Yuugi looked.

… _a dildo._

_A what? _Yuugi's other self eyed the black phallus on the screen with trepidation.

_Um, a pretend … you know. It's what it looks like! It's for girls, okay!? _Yuugi found himself shouting, flushing madly.

_Why use that when you have – oh. Ah … I never … thought of that. _It seemed the Pharaoh was learning uses for a second, fake instrument. _… Huh._ Clearly in ancient Egypt there hadn't been a whole lot of getting creative in the Nameless Pharaoh's harem.

There was a moment of awkward silence in which the only sounds came from the TV – all of them lewd. Then Yami no Yuugi gave a short little cough. _Perhaps I should go. _And with that, the spirit disappeared, their mental link cut off.

Yuugi would probably have taken a moment to consider that he had actually managed to make the unflappable Pharaoh feel flustered, but there was a video to watch, and he had to return it tomorrow.

All in all, it probably saved them both a lot of embarrassment when they agreed to never speak of that night again.

_fin _


	3. Defiled

**III. Defiled**

_Yami no Bakura never gets any lighter. Dark. The Book of the Dead contains questions related to sleeping with other men, which was (apparently at least mildly) frowned upon in ancient Egypt – at least if you were on the 'receiving' end._

&

There is a fantasy that the King of Thieves entertains. He contemplates it in the dark of night and every time he sees _that person_, the Pharaoh gleaming through the Mutou-boy's eyes.

It makes him sick, makes his smile into a crooked rictus across his face. That slimy upright arrogance … who is he to talk about 'friendship' and 'justice'? Disgusting. What's worse, he believes every word: he is ignorant of his life, of his past. There is something deliciously pathetic about it, the thief has to admit, like a man desperately digging at a wall made of mortar with nothing but his fingernails, bleeding and raw and nothing to show for it. He overcompensates for being remade in shadow, tries to redeem himself subconsciously with his 'friends'.

It's not enough, though. Like the thrill of a perfectly executed theft, there will never be enough revenge on the Pharaoh. The list of his wrongs against Bakura's person is long: the destruction of Kul Elna. Sealing Bakura's very soul into the Millennium Ring for three thousand fucking years. Preventing him, again and again, from obtaining all of the Items. Always, this Pharaoh. This one, damned Pharaoh!

But it is not the Pharaoh's death he seeks. Not yet. Perhaps not ever. Far more fitting would be to lock him in the Puzzle again, for eternity – deny him any sort of afterlife. However, that would have to wait until the rest was completed – until the Pharaoh had witnessed every destruction that Bakura could commit. The death of his beloved 'aibou' and his friends, for starters. Perhaps, the thief mused, he would find a way to turn the world on its ear, just to drive the Pharaoh mad with that martyrdom he exercised.

It would be nice if Bakura could find a way to torment the Pharaoh's vessel as well, where the Pharaoh could see but not retaliate. He wasn't entirely certain how to work that one yet, however.

In his darkest moments, there is more. The desire to break overcomes the desire to snuff out. The desire to defile overcomes the desire to destroy.

It's his arrogance, the thief thinks. That is what he wants to tread upon until it is dust. The very idea excites him, stirs his smile and his loins. To defile the Pharaoh's very being in such a way that the gods would no longer accept him into eternal peace.

He sees the Pharaoh on hands and knees, held down by Bakura's own strong hand on his neck, which is tight enough to bruise. His other hand is on that feminine hip, digging in, leaving thin crescents of blood. A gag to stop the arrogant words. A chain to stop his calloused hands.

_I give you the Nameless Pharaoh, pleasure slave to the King of Thieves!_

The thief laughs, rough and dark.

He knows the Book of the Dead. He knows what laws he has dragged through the dust, and that should he truly die, he will be eternally tormented. But to take the Pharaoh there with him, to the dens of thieves and madmen? Could there truly be a defilement worse than that?

He licks his lips.

_Fin_


	4. Job Interview

**Job Interview**

"Mutou Yuugi-kun, please!"

Yuugi jerked to his feet, straightening his tie nervously at the interviewer's call. It was his first job interview – nothing too exciting, perhaps, just a job working as a waiter in the sit-down restaurant nearby his college campus – but Yuugi was admittedly nervous. He wanted very much to make a good impression; he had attempted to slick back his wild hair and had dressed rather formally to show his respect.

A less common preparation had been to ask his other self to please, please be quiet while he was interviewing. Yami no Yuugi had agreed readily enough, despite general skepticism towards the job itself. _You will be paid to attend to people's drinks and food? _He had asked, slightly incredulous.

_It's a great part-time job, _Yuugi had explained, _because the hours can be as short or as long as you want, and they're somewhat irregular so you can work around your class schedule._

His other self had raised a mental eyebrow. _It seems a little … demeaning. What about participating in some local tournaments for money?_ Yuugi – or at least in partnership with his other self – was still a bit active on the Duel Monsters circuit.

_It's not regular enough, _Yuugi explained patiently. His other self may have once been a wise Pharaoh of Egypt, but the intricacies of the modern world were still something of a mystery to him. Yuugi's other self had let the subject go at that point, fortunately, and the subject was dropped.

"Here," Yuugi called, following the manager to an empty table in the restaurant. They settled into their seats and Yuugi tried not to look nervous.

The manager, wearing a nametag that proclaimed him as 'Setsuna', flipped briefly through Yuugi's application (turned in earlier in the week) before looking over his spectacles at Yuugi himself. "So, young man," he said, offering a small smile that made Yuugi relax a bit, "are you serious about wanting this job?"

"Oh, absolutely, sir," Yuugi answered. "I don't have much experience with customer service except at my grandpa's game shop, but I think that I would be a good server."

"You seem very polite," Setsuna said amicably. "You're a student at the university, I take it?"

"Yes," Yuugi nodded again. "I'm taking a full load of classes, but I need some money to help me buy the books, and I would like a bit of spending money as well."

"Honestly, we get a lot of students applying for this sort of job," Setsuna said, setting down the application for the moment. "But most haven't had any customer service experience, so you are a refreshing change. I have some questions I would like to ask you, to start out. But first, the reason why I asked if you were serious about the job was because of this." He turned the application so it was facing Yuugi, then pushed it closer, tapping a particular phrase with his pen indicatively.

Under 'previous employment' was a phrase that made Yuugi's eyes widen and his cheeks flush.

_Mou hitori no boku! _Yuugi snapped.

_Yes, Aibou?_ Yuugi's other self sounded entirely too innocent.

_What did you do!? Why does my application say that I was formerly employed as the _Pharaoh of Egypt

_Well, you _wereYami no Yuugi protested. _In a way._

… _We are going to have words about this later, _Yuugi threatened. Out loud he stammered, "Oh, m-my friends and I … it's a running joke. Jonouchi-kun thought it would be a little funny … I'm really sorry," he apologized.

In the back of Yuugi's head, Yami no Yuugi snickered a little. Yuugi rolled his eyes at him.

"No, it's all right," Setsuna said, his mouth quirking a little. "It's good that you have a sense of humor. You'll certainly need one in this business. Anyway, let me ask you a little about what you did at your grandfather's game shop …"

&

Surprisingly enough, Yuugi got the job.

Yami no Yuugi, however, found Yuugi leaving the Puzzle in his closet the next day far less entertaining.

_fin_


	5. Yami, Meet Yami

_A little metafic about Yami Yuugi. It's amazing what a little self-knowledge seems to do to the spirit. Fanfiction!Yami versus Canon!Yami … both are kinda hokey, huh?_

**Yami, Meet Yami**

This is a tale about two Yamis. Or rather, it would be a tale about two Yamis if 'yami' were a noun and not an adjective. For the context of this story, however, 'Yami' is a proper noun. In fact, 'Yami' is the name of the main character.

It's not really his name, actually, but as 'Yami' does not know his real name, we'll call him that.

Now, I've said this is the tale of _two_ Yamis, but in truth, both of these yamis are the same person. When most people want to distinguish between yamis, they call them 'Yami name-of-the-person-they-are-possessing'. So, this is a story about two Yami Yuugis. We will call them Yami Yuugi One and Yami Yuugi Two.

This story is short. In fact, I wouldn't be terribly surprised if this long-winded exposition is longer than the story itself. So, without further ado, my tale.

&

Yami Yuugi One was pouting. He was pouting because his Hikari had left him at home all alone with nothing to do while he went to school.

(I should probably explain that Yami Yuugi One's 'Hikari' is Yuugi Mutou. He goes to school because he is school-age. Yami Yuugi One is about 3,000 years too old for school.)

Yami Yuugi One was a Pharaoh! He'd found that out only last week, and ever since then, he had realized that doing menial tasks was completely below him. Really, Kaiba and Jonouchi and Honda and heck, even Anzu – they should all have been bowing at his feet all this time. It certainly explained why he didn't remember having a Grandpa who shouted at him to clean his room every day. He was Pharaoh! He would have just had servants to clean his room for him! (Actually, that seemed like a good idea. He'd have to talk to his Hikari about that.)

Yami Yuugi One was in a funk, however, because since he'd found out he was a Pharaoh, everyone had gradually been pulling away from him. It was probably because they were awed by his majestic power, or nervous to speak with an actual Pharaoh. He wondered what kind of a ruler he'd been …

In any case Yami Yuugi One got sick of being home alone and set out to find something to do. Someone would accommodate him; after all, he'd once been Pharaoh.

Meanwhile, Yami Yuugi Two was also in a funk. He'd found out just last week that he was probably a Pharaoh – a nameless one, lost to time – and he was worried about his aibou.

(Yami Yuugi Two's 'aibou' is also Yuugi Mutou. Luckily for you, there is no Yuugi in these stories, because then we'd have to have a Yuugi Mutou One and a Yuugi Mutou Two and it would get really confusing.)

Yami Yuugi Two was concerned because if he had been Pharaoh, then he had been sealed in the Puzzle for three thousand years – and someday, when it was time for Yuugi to give up the Puzzle, Yami would have to go with it. This distressed him because as long as Yami didn't know his own past, he wouldn't have to move forward: he could just stay with his aibou.

Currently Yami Yuugi Two was straining the boundaries of the Puzzle by sitting on the school wall in spirit form. It would have been really convenient to have his own body, because then he could have gone and gotten those pretzels Yuugi liked. Yami liked them too, so it was kind of a side bonus.

In any case, for the purposes of this story, Yami Yuugi One has somehow managed to cross over a time-space continuum or something. He was on his way to meet his Hikari at school and demand a popsicle when he saw the spirit form of Yami Yuugi Two sitting on the wall.

Both were, as you can surely imagine, quite shocked. Yami Yuugi Two was the first to react. "Aibou?" he asked. "I thought you were in class." He closed his eyes and checked through the Puzzle. "You _are _in class! Who are you, then?"

"I should be asking the same thing of you!" Yami Yuugi One shot back. "For one thing, I haven't needed a spirit form since I got my own body. For another, how can I be here and you be sitting on that wall, if you are me?"

Yami Yuugi Two's eyes were wide. "You have your own body? How did you manage that?"

Yami Yuugi One had to think about that one for a while. "… I don't know," he said at length. "I just kind of have one, although I started out in the Puzzle."

Yami Yuugi Two thought that was an awfully useful plot device. "Well, as long as you're here, do you think you would mind buying Aibou some pretzels? He's been craving that one brand all day – I know because I've been craving it too as a result." He looked vaguely amused by this.

Yami Yuugi One however, got an affronted look. "Look," he said, "I was Pharaoh once. I don't think I know how to run an errand. Servants would have gotten me pretzels if I wanted them – you know, if they had pretzels back then. They probably didn't, I suppose."

Yami Yuugi Two raised his eyebrows. _Is this me?_ He wondered. "You have your own body, but you don't know how to run an errand?" he asked, incredulous. "I mean, I can understand not going to school – it's kind of boring, and Aibou made me stop making fun of the teacher after he got in trouble for laughing – but you can't run an errand? Why on earth wouldn't you learn how to do that?"

Yami Yuugi One assumed an arrogant pose. "My Hikari brings me just about anything I need. The one time I went out to do something for him I ended up in loads of trouble because—"

"'Hikari'?" Yami Yuugi Two interruputed. "Who is your 'Hikari'?"

"Yuugi, of course!" Yami Yuugi One answered.

Yami Yuugi Two thought this over briefly. It made sense, in a way – if he was 'Dark Yuugi', then aibou could be considered the 'Light' Yuugi. "Don't you call him 'aibou'?" he asked, kicking his feet idly against the wall.

"Sometimes, I guess," Yami Yuugi One shrugged.

"Well, it doesn't seem very fair to make Yuugi get everything for you if you have your own body," Yami Yuugi Two observed. "Aibou is a very helpful sort of person. I'm sure he'd be able to show you how to use Japanese money and such. Or at least, you help him do his chores, right?"

Yami Yuugi One was beginning to look a little uncomfortable. "I don't know how to do those either. Why should I? I was a Pharaoh."

Yami Yuugi Two was pretty disgusted by this. "You know, I was a Pharaoh too. Probably the same one, actually. But you're not a Pharaoh now, are you? Anyway, what kind of a Pharaoh won't do any work, even to help out his best friend in the entire world?" He crossed his arms. "I'm envious of you. If I had my own body, I would definitely at least run errands. Cleaning a room would be a novelty, too."

Yami Yuugi One blinked at him, shocked. Yami Yuugi Two seemed like a much more mature version of himself. "Don't you know how to have fun?" he pouted.

"Being with Yuugi _is_ fun," Yami Yuugi Two protested. "Besides, we're very lucky. Our job is to play _games._ I think that's quite enough, don't you?"

Yami Yuugi One didn't have time to formulate a reply, because Yami Yuugi Two looked up towards Yuugi's classroom. "Ah, it seems aibou's class is over. I've got to go back. I hope you treat your, eh, 'hikari' a little better than it sounds like," he said with a proud nod. "So long, other me!" And he was gone, back to the Puzzle or whatever.

But unfortunately, we'll never know if Yami Yuugi Two had any impact on Yami Yuugi One, because before he could think about this too deeply, another fanfiction author crossed the time-space continuum, grabbed his arm, and disappeared with him in tow, squealing about how Yami Yuugi One would be double-dating Yuugi with Yami Bakura and Ryou Bakura.

&

And that's my story about two Yamis. Even though they were really the same Yami. Except not quite.

Even though Yami Yuugi One is a little annoying, I think he has the harder life, though. After all, amongst fanfiction authors, he's definitely in far higher demand. And fanfiction authors don't pay well.

I should know. I am one.

_fin_


End file.
